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WHAT BE KEELHAULING YE BE ASKIN? The victim was tied to a line that looped beneath the vessel, thrown overboard on one side of the ship, and dragged under the ship’s keel, either from one side of the ship to the other, or the length of the ship keelhaul(from bow to stern). As the hull was usually covered in barnacles and other marine growth, if the offender was pulled quickly, keelhauling would typically result in serious cuts, loss of limbs. If the victim was dragged slowly, his weight might lower him sufficiently to miss the barnacles, but this method would frequently result in his drowning.

CAPT’N LOG : Ok, I may be taking a few liberties in creatively comparing the old ways of seafarin, to having radiation treatments done with a modern state of the art, Rapid Art, “Photon” machine, but please bear with me to see the similarities concocted by my vivid imagination.

NEW FANGLED KEELHAULING: I have been summoned to report to the sickbay, for the next 44 days, (Weekends excluded) to undergo Radiation Treatments that be oddly similar to being Keelhauled. Upon arriving, I am asked two questions every time.

  1. In what year were ya born?
  2. Is yer bladder full?

What form of torture is this ye be askin. Forced to drink barrels of water till it be fillin me carcass, I don’t think there is nary a drop of rum left in me body. I find myself not in the water, but the water in me.1003152_298238623653570_1318282454_n

Then it is time to lay on the Plank. Quickly the Bosun positions me, placing restrictive bonds made of rubber rings upon my hands and feet, ensuring that I cannot move or escape;

KEELHAULED: Slowly the monstrous machine closes around the plank where my body lies captive. Its arms with scanners extend to their full length, just like a Leviathan IMG_0188rising from the deep. The arms begin to rotate, from one side to the other, the Treatment has begun.

Where be the pain and torture ye be askin? Every day I am left alone to undergo this procedure, alone that is with exception of a wicked contraption that blares forth a barnacle type of music of every kind, Rock, Oldies, Country, and Jazz, BUT NOT A SINGLE SEA CHANTY!

CAPT’N LOG: Actually, this has been a pleasant experience. The Radiation Therapist Crew is not only professional, (I haven’t lost a limb yet), but also warm and friendly. A special BZ goes out to RT’s Debbie, Brenda, Nicki, Jessica, Mellissa, and Junior along with Dr’s Bryant, Castro and ARNP Luker. May ye have Fair Winds and Following Seas in all ye do.